Scott Boras is the guy at the bar right now, who after already being turned down by the hottest girl in the joint, is just determined to go home with somebody. He's found his target, she's not gorgeous by any means, but she's there and she'll have to do.It's nearly last call, so if he's going to get this done, he's going to have to work quickly."You like Project Runway? OH. MY. GOD. So do I! In fact, and I haven't told many people this, but I just feel a real connection with you, when I was a kid, I wanted to grow up to be a fashion designer. Seriously, I still sometimes think about just dropping everything to chase the dream, you know?" Right now that girl is the Detroit Tigers, his bedroom is Johnny Damon, and Boras is pulling out all the stops to put those two together.Last week Boras told the Tigers that his client, Damon, wanted to play for them going as far as saying that the only thing keeping a World Series title from Detroit was not having Johnny Damon on the team.This caught the Tigers' interest, but they were still somewhat wary of this man trying to seduce them, and a week later no deal has been signed by either side. So Boras is amping things up.If Steve Yzerman wasn't busy running Team Canada for the Olympics, perhaps he could help persuade free agent Johnny Damon to sign with the Tigers despite a lower offer than he'd like.Damon has rooted for the Red Wings for years. He started doing so because of how much he likes Yzerman. Damon's agent, Scott Boras, talked Monday about Damon's fervor for the Red Wings."When he and I go to a Greek restaurant, he always orders octopus," Boras said.See what Boras did there? Go back up and read what I had Boras telling the girl at the bar, and replace Project Runway with Steve Yzerman and the Detroit Red Wings. Just find the thing that people in Detroit really like and then say "Holy shit! What a coincidence, so does Johnny Damon!"I'm surprised he didn't go on to say that Damon's iPod is filled with nothing but Motown, Ted Nugent, Eminem and Kid Rock.The other lie that Boras told was that immediately after it was clear that the Yankees didn't want Damon, he received "four or five offers right away" from teams for Damon.There were just so many people making contract offers that Boras couldn't remember how many there were! Too many to count! It could have been four or five. Maybe even six! Who's counting? Not Scott Boras! Johnny only wants to play for Detroit!Now Boras may have received four or five calls from teams inquiring about Damon, but I'll guarantee you he didn't get a single offer. All you need to do is look at his constant courting of Detroit to know that's not true.
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